Hello All,
It has been so long but postponing one blog turned into many blogs and with the stress of A-levels this year, I had to focus on those. However exams are over and I'm starting a new chapter in my life...ADULTHOOD...yes I'm scared. Coming out of school and finding a full time job was easy but it's the journey ahead that scares me. I've always been very independent and funding myself has never been an issue but I think the fear of leaving home and exam results has really burdened me over the past few weeks. I'm still waiting to start my new job so I have a lot of spare time on my hands and beauty pageants and going to the gym can only fill so much.
The free time has allowed me lots of time to think about myself and what I want to do. Sixth form puts you in the place where you're trying to live up to everyones expectation and I don't know about you but I didn't think about myself much. It's quite unhealthy when stress levels get unbearably high but with 101 other things to worry about, it just makes thing worse. I finally feel like the fog has cleared and I've been able to look forward. I am hoping to go to university in September 2016 if all goes well with results, but if things don't go to plan I will have to think about an alternative career path. I don't think getting in will be an issue but I've learnt not to set my expectations too high after my awful results last year.
I've had a lot of time to reflect recently and although sixth form turned into such a chore towards the end it taught me a lot. I managed to balance two jobs and school for 9 months, it was very difficult but I think it has enabled me to learn and grow up a lot quicker than some people do. I did have to sacrifice my social life which some people actually criticised me for and I can understand why people would but it had taught me a lot. In 20 years time when we're all grown up with families, a social life won't be an option for all people. I've learnt to work hard and play hard. I learnt to value free time so much more and now I have a lot of free time and it's not that great.
In the next couple of weeks I will be starting my full time job as a carer, I'm just currently waiting for my DBS to come through....scary. It will be nice to have some structure in my life again and I won't be sitting around all day. I've got so many things to look forward to over the next year and even if university doesn't end up at the end of it, I'll still be moving forward to embark on this journey of adulthood that is coming. Yes I'm scared but I'm also excited. I don't think I've ever been so ready to start moving forward.
The only downside is I have to start paying rent....and so the journey begins!
Jade x
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